Capture Your Grief: Day 2 Heart

It’s October. This month is a busy month. There are a lot of awareness things happening this month. The big one everyone knows is breast cancer, but did you know it’s also Pregnancy Loss and Remembrance month? This encompasses all losses from miscarriage to stillborn to infant loss. Carly Marie¬†does a project every October to capture your grief. She is amazing and does a lot of loss awareness campaigns to break the silence.

I am participating this year as I am in a better head space. Last year was to hard, we weren’t even a month from our loss when October hit. I couldn’t concentrate on bringing any kind of awareness as I was trying to remember what it was like to live. No one thinks about that, how loss affects us. It is soul shattering. My heart will always remember my Angel. I will always know when my loss date is, I will always know my EDD. Those dates will never leave and they will mark me every year. I will mourn a life that never got to be. I will mourn a baby I never saw. I will mourn what could be, what was, and what should have been. I will always mourn that. Always.

Here is today’s photo:

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That is Hubby’s hands making the heart. The grief, our loss, it’s as much his as it is mine. Our heart represents our one and only Angel. We have never conceived again. It hard not to think that I would have my baby by now. It is hard not to think about how different we would both be if our Angel was here.

I will be posting a new photo as I see fit to participate. Some of these are hard, I will not lie. Some draw up to many memories, to many triggers. I encourage you to participate if you want. I encourage you to help break the silence.