I am in the 2ww of my first natural cycle in what feels like forever, but really hasn’t been that long ago. What is it about coming off meds for a little bit that makes you feel like you have aged 10 years? Is it the constant monitoring? The stress? All I know is that I am more zen this time around than I have been in forever. It could be because my needle phobia is not being tested this month, or the fact that I have not had to have a vag cam this month. Who knows? All I know is that I am ok.
I managed to O on my own, which is pretty exciting for someone with PCOS. My temps were even pretty consistent and that in and of itself is praise worthy. Granted, my body may still be out of whack from not being on meds, who knows. I just know that I am pretty happy with how things are progressing this cycle. I doubt we have a chance in hell for a BFP. We had horrible timing, but again, the real thing is I O’d. I have not decided if I will test early or not. Who knows. (Apparently who knows is the theme of this post).
I will say that I think I am crazier on a natural cycle than on a medicated cycle. It’s like my body has forgotten how to function naturally so I think there is an overdose of hormones happening. I am irrationally angry and have been for the last few days. My temper has been on a hair trigger and I have no idea why. Nothing bad is particularly triggering me. I am just angry. Makes me wish I had a punching bag, except I am so tired, I could barely make it through one good punch. It’s a terrible catch 22 and it makes me seem like a certifiable crazy person. Perhaps I am, at least right now. Oh well, I am ok with it.