2WW (Or better called, Watch yourself go Crazy)

The dreaded two week wait (2WW). For those of you who are not familiar with TTC terms it’s that time between ovulation (O) and when your period is supposed to arrive. In a nutshell, it sucks monkey butt.

There is a time in the 2WW where you reach the crazy of epic proportions. I like to call it No Man’s Land. It’s about 7 or 8 dpo (days past Ovulation) where your symptoms are not quite full fledged crazy but they are just enough to make think this could be it. It’s a hot mess. Hubby hates the 2WW. He doesn’t know what it’s called during this time, he just knows I am a little crazy. Little crazy being a slight understatement. I can’t help it. You try going on fertility meds. It screws everything up. I trick my body into O’ing earlier than it ever has in my life, then I get to INJECT myself with HCG, that is pregnancy hormone, then wait. There is nothing more ridiculous than knowing you are not pregnant, yet you can turn a test positive. See what I mean about the crazy?

Here is scoop, I HATE everything about this process. I hate that my body has failed me. I HATE that I can’t do what a woman is supposed to do. (Yes, I realize others have it worse than me.) I DESPISE needles. They hurt, they scare me and quite honestly I don’t like to see my blood leave my body. Here is the thing, though, when you are infertile, your life revolves around needles. How is that for irony? Every cycle I have to have hubby inject me with the HCG (b/c I can’t do it myself), get my blood drawn to check my progesterone, and then I get to go in for betas. So, at the least, I get stuck with a needle three times in a cycle. Ridiculous! You know what is even more ridiculous? I am on a first name basis at my gyno where I get my ultra sounds. My RE has an office out of there since he is based about 3 hours away from me.

So, in short, being infertile compounds the crazy that is a menstrual cycle. The 2WW is exacerbated thanks to the HCG. And the biggest of them all, you get to deal with crazy that is everything when you have your hormones screwed with by meds just so you can (hopefully) get pregnant. I am either really strong or really crazy to put myself through this. The jury is still out on which.


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